PARANOIA

I don't want to feel the way I feel right now. I don't want to think towards the direction my brain is taking me. Atleast for once, I want to be positive that things will work for the better but every silence reminds me that the past ones didn't.  Maybe I should force myself to believe in change but what if change is for worst and not best? What if change is going to destroy the good we have today? What if change is going to make us broken and tarturs? What if change is completely going to destroy us? I want to believe in good but my heart keeps telling me I did that in the past and it failed. How do I believe in us? How do I believe that things will work on our favour? How do I convince my mind that atleast it should be positive? It keeps roaming but not for long it becomes the toxic thing I've always had. I want to feel good but it just ain't working. Tell me how....