Girls are complicated, right? Well for me I don't know but that's what many of my brozoned whether they like it or not brothers say. So what if they are not and dudes are just too shallow-cated? Well, that for another day....
Everyone has a phone and with them they have a right to access whatever and talk to whoever, right? Well, did you know that these whoevers ain't just that but they have categories? If you did, that's nice, no knowledge is a waste but if you didn't, have a seat :
1.Please nigga
These are the kind of niggas she benefits from in one way or another. Though some of them don't know how special they are, indeed they are special. They include :
a.) Love, Amor, Darling, Hunnie e. t. c
That's obvious, right? Well, he's the lucky guy
b.) Him, Crushie, Carl💕S e.t.c
If you are already laughing, please stop and just shut up. These are the group of good looking guys and crushes they can't date because you are already in. They are the guy's she'll use to make you jealous once you make her mad. Fear these guys coz maybe, just maybe....
c.) Bestie, Bafafa, Best Friend etc
Do you fear the devil? If yes, then meet the person you should fear after the devil. If not, start fearing him coz you are meeting one. They are the kind of guys who approve anything and everything . So she decides to be silent on you for days or even a week? Did she cheat? Has she been sturbon of late? Did she dump you? Hello?! This m'fcker knew it before it happened and chances are that he approved it . He hates you a lot but because you love her and she loves you too, he has to bear everything. He's the guy who starts a story by asking "yule ng'ombe wako ako aje? " Your girl will then smile and say "Usimuite ng'ombe haki" then boom, you become the topic! Wait, did I tell you that he knows everything about this relationship? Daddy, you might be the lucky one but fear anyone saved in your girl's phone this way. He can destroy in seconds.
d.) Bro🖤
Though he pretends to hate you, this is your number one fan. Who hates someone who loves her irritative sister? He will always look at you with a serious face and will not mind knocking down your nose if you mess up with his sister coz even though she's the irritative sister, she's his sister and he'll protect her. Just love his sister right and don't cross his path.
e.) The one saved with her name
So she's Bree and there's a contact saved in her phone as Bree💕? Nigga, don't be fooled, that's not her 2nd line, it's someone who's equal to you. Did I say equal? Investigate!
f.) Dario airtime/Tevin rent
As soon as you realize you are saved this way, run. Did I say run? If you can't run then tell someone to drag you out of there so fast. She's the one! She's the one sent to eat you, destroy you and see you dead. So if you know a skeleton then you're heading there.
2. Nigga please / Nigga Wareva
So she tells you how much she hates you everytime you fight? Well, she doesn't and meet who she hates most :
a.) • (Fullstop)
This is a nagging ex boyfriend who keeps bothering her and has tried moving on but just can't. Even though he doesn't stand a chance in her life, memories are a shitty bitch so be a little careful as long as they are still in contact.
b.) Nkt/Mschew
He sucks her to death! So you thought she hates her ex to the point of saving him as a fullstop? Meet who she hates most. This in most cases it's her first boyfriend, I didn't say first love - there's a difference. Other times, he's the guy who broke her virginity. Have you ever realised that ladies don't talk about the guys who broke them? It's not their fault, it's the hate. The guys saved this way at times are some huhi-haha she used for sex to get over her stress or heartbreak. So you thought it's only men who use ladies for sex? Stay tuned...
c. The others are the guys saved as ex or with a scary emoji .These are her other demons.
3. Please me nigga
So you ever heard of bless me or I curse you ?Well, if that's a new phrase then welcome. Have you ever approached a lady but she tells you she's not ready for a relationship but will tell you when she is? Stupid and dumb! It's either she has many guys in the bless me or I curse you category or had just added you there. They include:
a.) Daniel Allan Ogetta/ Daniel Ogetta
(Sorry Dan for using your name, I couldn't think of any other person to use 😂😂)
So, these are the guys saved with their full names or two of their names. Even though they stand a little chance, they are still far and have a long way to go. They are reliable friends anyway.
b.) Ian Ice cream Tuskys
Haha! She met him at Tuskys and because it was hot, he bought her some ice cream and incisted on exchanging contacts. They rarely talk unless he nags with his hi.
c.) Daktari Armon
As fast as you see this kind of contact in her phone, raise those shaggy eyebrows. The last time I checked it was only my granny saving people in her phone that way. Well, she might be a doctor but not the doctor you think of. I know you didn't get this, bye 😂
4. Aha-Uhu
So you thought you heard it all? Well, these are strictly the UNCLE😘s. She loves her relatives that much and keeps in touch? Nigga, don't be silly! Did she take you out last weekend or buy you a present? Wow, you just got a peace offering and you are a beneficiary of her sponsor(s) as well.
5. Shut up Nigga!
These are your equals, your co-husbands. They eat what you eat and drink what you drink. They benefit her in different ways and gets sex in return. They include her school lecturers, study partner, the kiosk guy at her plot etc. They are saved in her phone as Didier Drogba, Ozil, Fish, Customer Care, Safaricom etc.
...Nigga, stay woke!
#Insight
@Mimi_Bree254
©2018
What did the devil do to you? Lol but good article though.
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