HOW MANY TIMES SHOULD I SAY SORRY BEFORE YOU SEE THE SENSE IN IT?

No matter how good and forgiving you are,  you will never receive that bomb ass shit back. 


Dear love,  since day one,  you have been my all time prince : everything I always and forever want to associate with. But do you realize that am human just as you? I get hurt but stay strong until I can't anymore. Then I'm forced to speak out my mind and face the consequences - whatever it may be. 

I bet this ain't any different from staying silent and saying "fuck you " in my head - it hurts more. I can't relate the many times I've cried myself to sleep when you hurt me to this one time I decided to pop up the question that has been disturbing my mind. I feel so hurt that despite forgiving you for the I-don't-know-how-many-th time, you can't relate and forgive me for being me and speaking out what bothered me. We are all human and being insecure only needs reassurance, but what if you decide to get mad forever? Do you just leave the love that has been burning flames for you all time memorial to suffer until it dies ?

What if you woke up and found that I ain't breathing no more? How would you feel? Would you cry and say RIP? Would you fail to forgive yourself and carry the guilt to your grave? I hope you wouldn't coz if these are the possible options, please open up your brain hun. 

You said you're making a lifetime decision but what does lifetime mean in your vocabulary? For me it means fighting all odds to the end what of you? It hurts to cry myself to sleep. I know we both have one common problem and it's pride. Why can't we learn to tame it and see this flower blossom? Am sick of the paranoia that keeps giving me ugly imaginations - imaginations that I can't relate to my real life. I know sometimes am petty, clingy and so needy but how many times should I say sorry? How many times should I say it for you to see how serious I am with it? If you find a place in your heart to forgive me,  let me be the part of who you will inform .

Tears.....