....

I wanted to name this article, but my pen ran dry, and all my ideas flew away. And so I placed the breaking lines,  to remind myself how broken I am..... 

There comes a time, when you're dream all vanishes.  You stop praying, you stop trying.  You don't know if you should let go but it's kinda worthy, coz holding on makes no difference. You're sick of stress and sick of ego. You're sick of chasing and sick of waiting. You remember all the promises you made to each other and that pricks your soul. You're letting go,  letting go of an uncomplished dream. You're letting go of your happiness. You try to convince yourself that strong people walk away when they can't hold on no more, but you know you are weak. Strength is just but a cover,  a fake mask you're putting on to hide your identity. You remember the many times you prayed that you'd reach the end and cry. It's not worth it anymore. So you give up to praying. You look at your diary and it all hurts to see it suddenly getting wet.  You try being strong but that ain't your thing so you give up to your weakness. Coz strength can also be weaknes at the same time. You have a lot of questions but you can't answer any of them. Your chest is hot and burning. You just need a break from everything : break from breathing and break from  life. You walk yourself to a lonely hill and scream,  you scare the birds but they come back to mock you. Telling you that you're living by the choices you made.  You try to feel that but all you feel nothing. Coz it doesn't matter anymore whether you feel or not. You dip your feet in a pool of water,  remembering there's comfort in water, but that only awakens your senses to the pain.  You feel hot blood burning sensation in your chest.  You can't save it,  you can't save yourself. Everything is a theory.  You cease believing in life. Coz for you,  that was life and it's now no more. You ask yourself if that's you letting go but you get no answers. For a moment you feel like a broken girl in a romantic movie and it scares because you've never acted. You take a big stone and throw in the water. The bhang scares you. There's comfort in the panic. Comfort in scaring yourself.  You remember you are sick and that scares more, because it doesn't add up to make yourself sick, but indeed you are. You try feeling pain but you feel nothing. For a moment you blow your hair to see if you're still breathing and indeed you are. You ask yourself why but not one can answer that for you, so you let it be. You let everything be : you're life,  you're happiness,  you're pain,  you're death....everything. It's not worthy anymore.  But you don't know if you should write your tributes and say goodbye to life. Coz maybe,  just maybe,  that would make sense in the long run... 

#Broken
@Mimi_Bree254
    20.4.2018
     6:45am